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Former gay showdown: God made me free from this nasty thing

My homosexual experience began in my childhood. The root of this abomination was hidden in a couple of factors – I grew without a father, I felt overprotected by my mother and grandmas. More to that one of the older guys made me play sexual games with him and raped me after that.

In everything else I was a normal guy who was trying to find happiness and love. The problem was that I started looking for this love among men. I thought I could find it by having sex with them. I was just drawn to men, I liked their bodies, I wanted to be romantic with them and to have intimacy. I thought about men all the time, I watched pornography. But in reality it wasn’t love, it was just a perversion. Something was screaming inside of me – it is wrong, it’s not the way it should be. My consciousness literally demanded to leave such kind of a lifestyle and to change my life. I tried not to think about men, about sex with them… But I still kept coming back.

But then I turned 17 and came to church and gave my heart to Jesus. My life began to change radically: my relationship with parents became much better, I was healed from a fatal disease, and of course my sexual area of life began healing too. I realized that homosexuality is a dirty sin. I understood that God loves me but He hates sin. Nevertheless I still didn’t know what to do with this problem and who could help me, that’s why in the beginning I kept coming back to the homosexual lifestyle. But no matter what I didn’t give in and kept searching. I read plenty of books, listened to loads of ceremonies and I kept searching for the way out.

The Bible says, he who seeks, finds. Soon I started to realize that homosexuality comes from different factors – inherited curses, possessions by demons, rape in childhood, unnatural dominating of a mother or a father in a family and so on. I prayed for a long time, dealing with each of the factors and asking God, so that He would free me from this demon and heal my heart from all those wounds. It was a real war for my soul, but I got the victory. Of course there were temptations to come back to my old way of living, but I confirm now that with God’s help I got free from homosexuality once and for all. Now I can communicate with men and be friends with them without any wrong thought. I don’t have any sexual desire toward them, they do not attract me. Instead my eyes opened and I started see women: they have never attracted me but today everything is different.

Nowadays many people say that homosexuality is genetically inborn and it’s impossible to get free from it. But I can confirm that these statements are false. I am sure that any man and woman can be freed from homosexuality. My prayer is that God would help gays and lesbians to realize their problem and would give them a great desire to become free from this nasty thing.

Nick Carter, Kharkov, Ukraine

TAGS: Ukraine homosexual former gay lesbian freedom church

[09/28/2008]

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